IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU
FEEL EROTICALLY ALIVE
& SAY ‘YES’ TO PLEASURE
Whether you are single or in a relationship, exploring your own personal erotic landscape is the first step for finding true intimate fulfilment.
Where would you like to begin?
IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Develop secure attachment and build a resilient relationship.
Learn communication skills.
Understand love languages and attachment styles.
Learn to repair and resolve underlying resentment and tension.
Gap differing levels of sexual desires.
Navigate non-monogamy and other relationship structures.
Rebuild trust after infidelity.
Reawaken desire and intimacy in sexless relationships.
Bring novelty and playfulness into the bedroom.
Reconnect after major life changes such as children, grief, or trauma.
FEEL EROTICALLY EMPOWERED
Explore your erotic blueprint and what turns you on and off.
Increase your capacity to feel aroused and experience pleasure.
Free your authentic self expression
Build confidence and learn new lovemaking skills.
Explore your fantasies and expand your sexual menu with new experiences like BDSM, role-play and more.
Master the art of flirting and date with confidence.
Develop a healthy self-pleasure practise.
Cultivate self-acceptance and love for your body
OVERCOME SEXUAL CHALLENGES
Low libido or decreased desire
Difficulty to orgasm
Pain or discomfort during sex
Erectile dysfunction
Unreliable ejaculation
Manage sexual anxiety and insecurity.
Navigate taboos and tricky turn ons
Process and let go of fear, shame and negative past experiences.
Adapt to your changing sexuality with ageing.
You are capable of being the confident, erotically alive and intimately fulfilled person you yearn to be.
Let me help you get there.
Appointments offered online worldwide or in-person in Nelson, New Zealand.
WHAT IS SEX & INTIMACY COACHING?
WHAT TO EXPECT
Our sessions together will include a blend of deep conversation, experiential learning and educational elements that are tailored to your specific needs. You’ll learn new skills to deepen intimacy, authentically connect with yourself and others, and feel more pleasure in every aspect of your life.
Radically different from traditional talk therapy, my style of coaching bridges the gap between mind and body. You will not just come to have a better understanding of yourself, but will be able to fully integrate and embody that knowledge, leading to profound and lasting shifts in how you experience pleasure, intimacy and connection.
My work draws on the Somatica® Method, a transformative approach that combines embodied practices from ancient traditions with the latest research in neuroscience and sexual psychology.
ABOUT ME
MEET YOUR COACH
Exploring intimacy, sexuality, and relationships is a deeply personal journey. As an Intimacy, Sex and Relationship Coach, I'm trained to guide you, every step of the way.
I bring a holistic approach to my practice, combining advanced therapeutic methods with authenticity and empathy. I've had the privilege of working extensively with individuals and couples of all ages, genders, sexual identities and relationship dynamics – every person is welcome and celebrated here, just as they are. Our sessions together are always guided by your intentions and move at your pace.
My first priority in our sessions is to ensure that you always feel comfortable, safe and supported. With professional guidance and real-time feedback, you’ll be able to release resentment, heal trauma, and let go of shame and other limiting beliefs that have held you back for far too long.
You deserve to live a life filled with pleasure, connection, and love. If my approach resonates with you, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if we’re a good fit.
Certified Sexologist – American Board of Sexology
Somatica® Sex & Relationship Coach
Somatica® Couples Trained
Youth Sex Educator
Appointments offered online worldwide or in-person in Nelson, New Zealand.
KIND WORDS
★★★★★
“With Ilil, I feel so safe to explore these intimate topics.”
If you want a coach that truly empowers you to make progress on your path of sexual empowerment and makes the tools and practices so accessible, fun and practical, definitely book in with Ilil.
Ilil is very engaging, a great listener, gives awesome reflections and affirmations. With Ilil I feel so safe to explore these intimate topics every time we talk.
So much gratitude!
- Jess -
★★★★★
“Learning the tools of relationship repair radically transformed our marriage.”
We finally have the tools, awareness and actual experience in navigating challenging conversations.
Because we are able to have these vulnerable conversations, I now feel much more open and attracted to my husband.
I can’t believe we don’t learn this in school.
- Susan -
★★★★★
“Ilil helped me rediscover and love my sexuality after years of suppression”
I am so thankful to feel safe to express aspects of my sexuality in which I have suppressed and judged, and haven't even exposed to my therapist as I felt ashamed of it's uncommon nature.
Ilil has helped me rediscover and love these aspect of myself, She helped me heal trauma and reclaim my power and sense of safety in all areas of life.
- L.R -
ARE YOU READY TO BEGIN?
ENQUIRE NOW
Ready to take the first step towards a healthier and more fulfilling connection? Contact me today by filling out the form below to enquire about my coaching services and schedule your free 15 minute consultation.
Questions? I’m here for you.
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As professionals equipped with specialized tools and knowledge, sex coaches can help us overcome difficulties and enhance sexual satisfaction.
Here’s what happens in a typical office or Zoom visit with a sex coach:
The coach will listen to your experiences and feelings around the sexual issues you are having.
They will ask you questions about the history of the problem, and find out all the information they need to help you.
Depending on the specific approach they embrace as a coach (more on that below), they will talk with you about ways to address the problem. They might suggest videos or homework to watch. Practice tools in session could include breathwork, movement, self-touch, learning touch skills, and communication tools. And, always, they will help you move through shame and become more empowered around your sexual issues.
Lastly, your coach will talk you through how you can further implement these changes into your life.
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While sex therapy can involve diving into childhood wounds with lingering effects on your adult life, sex coaching focuses on actionable tools and exercises to help you overcome your erotic roadblocks. That’s why sex therapy is often helpful to those with unresolved trauma or higher levels of dysfunction
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Research shows that online therapeutic sessions are as effective as in-person ones. They even come with a whole set of additional benefits like:
ACCESSIBILITY. There are plenty of physical barriers to accessing in-person professional help. Online sessions help sweep these geographic hurdles aside. Distance is no longer a barrier. There is someone ready and waiting to help you at the click of a button.
TIME. In our hectic lives, ‘me time’ can be hard to come by. You might have a frantic schedule and work irregular hours. Or perhaps you’re a single parent or a carer who’s always racing against the clock. Online sessions fit comfortably around your schedule.
PRIVACY. For some, online therapy offers a comforting sense of privacy. Plus there are plenty of security measures in place to protect your privacy online.
HOME COMFORTS. Let’s face it: opening up and talking about how we’re really feeling can be tough, vulnerable and exposed. But, sometimes, it’s the little things that make it easier. Many folks feel more comfortable opening up online than in person. It may feel less daunting. Or perhaps you’d feel more at ease if you could snuggle up on your sofa with a cozy pair of bedroom slippers.
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The biggest issues couples face are around differences in beliefs and needs around money, sex, and child-rearing. While a relationship coach and a marriage coach have very similar approaches to these, couple’s therapy is quite different.
In couple’s therapy, you are limited to only talking through issues. Many therapists do not have any experiential tools to offer.
Relationship coaching for couples, however – especially if it is somatically-based or experiential – offers tactile practices that help overcome challenging dynamics in a relationship. They can also work to intensify intimacy and attachment, and provide tools for relationship repair during challenging times.
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In the broadest sense, a sexologist is someone who studies or researches sex. However, the term sexologist is also used to describe someone who works in a private or group practice. They are engaged in helping people resolve sexual issues and challenges, much like a sex therapist – though there are some differences
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First off – it’s vital to know that sex coaching does not involve sex. Practitioners always keep their clothes on – the only professionals legally allowed to have sex with clients are sexual surrogates – and you must be in treatment with a sex therapist to see a surrogate legally.
That being said, experiential sex coaches can use hands-on methods to teach sexual skills. They can also practice certain types of touch and seduction, within legal boundaries. For example, a sex coach can teach arousing types of touch for the body, physical disinhibition, and passionate touch.
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Intimacy Coaching is INTIMATE. It’s really important that we click. Before starting our first session, we will meet for a short introduction call (free of charge) and see if we suit and want to work together.
If I’m not able to support you, I will do my best to suggest other skilled practitioner who potentially can.
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For some, just talking to a person who is an intimacy and sexuality specialist is a profoundly transformative thing. Ultimately, you are in charge of this process. And there are ways I can support you that your therapist cannot. My training is focused on adult sexuality, sexual relationship, and somatics. Somatics is simply a fancy word for understanding how the body plays a role in our feelings.
Your body, its desires and responses, will guide us. We will talk about all the things you may have always wanted to talk about, or may have always been nervous to talk about! I will take you on guided journeys into your own experiences and desires. I can help you to increase your capacity to feel pleasure.
Sometimes we may create projects for you to take on between sessions, like homework.
You never have to do anything just because I suggest it. Finding your boundaries and learning to assert them is part of the growth process. As is speaking your desire.
And for most people, having companionship on this journey is the “special sauce” that creates the healing. Haven’t you had enough time on your own with these challenges?
We can do this together!